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Select Onion Headlines

Man Shell Of Imagined Self

Dad Reads Menu With Restaurant Candle Like Archaeologist Deciphering Ancient Runes​

​Southwest Blames Cancellations On Weather Being Too Beautiful To Spend Whole Day Cooped Up On Plane

Report: It Time For Neighbor Kid To Go Home​

Study: Marijuana Ranks Among Best Treatment For Persistent Existence

Insecure Package Can’t Believe Delivery Guy Shared Photo Where It Looks Like Shit​

Woman In Giddy Honeymoon Stage Of Hating Someone New​
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